1.20.2007

"we will become silhouettes when our bodies finally go"

today is a pretty unproductive day.

i sucessfully slept until way too late and didn't go out to capture the new shoes that i want (though anita volunteered to introduce me to buses and how public transportation can now be my friend). i did get an italian hoagie (so much meat! and delicious!) and read more for classes. by tuesday, i need to have finished war of the worlds, which shouldn't be a big problem, seeing as i only have about a hundred pages left. last night i did some italian homework and read beowulf as far as i need to for another english class on monday. i've got a paper to write by wednesday and i need to hang out in the library, probably tonight, to do the science reading that i didn't bother with the other day. so, even though today has been a pretty lazy day, i'm ok -- it's my reward for being all "on-task" during the week.
went to late-night at the HUB last night. painted a cute little trinket box and got an adorable balloon animal made: unfortunately, lola the frog has become slightly handicapped through somewhat rough treatment and circumstance. poor lola. ={ i had a good time last night, though. anita and i made dinner for each other: i made pasta and sauce and she made salad with the delicious veggie treats i brought over. it was an ironically vegan dinner, actually. *grin*

nick cazaubon has invited me (coercion notwithstanding) to join his d&d group where i will be able to make friends with a staggeringly dorky group of young men. i'm looking to be a halfling pirate. argh!
tomorrow i also have a meeting for the thespian troupe on campus. i'm pretty excited about that -- especially since they have a children's show for which i would definitely consider auditioning. i would love to work on another theatre performance, though. maybe as a less powerful being than ASM, but definitely in charge of some lights or something.
i'm also looking forward to beginning to attend sci-fi club meetings as well as anime club gatherings. i should be able to create a greater friend base as well as have a good time watching weird/fun shows with weird/fun folks. so, i'm definitely working toward having a good chance at making some new friends: my lack of a glut of close friends becomes really apparent to me on weekends. during the week, i'm super busy, but the weekends are times when i'm not going out (fine by me since most "out"ings involve alcohol that i'm not into during the school year) and when i'm not really doing much except homework -- just a sort of less social weekday.
this lack is sort of an especial problem today: while i'm sitting here being both bored and lonesome, my baby is having a great time (not the problem here, i encourage him to enjoy himself). the problem lies in who he is enjoying himself with -- a girl to whom i know he's been attracted in the past. i feel almost as he must have when, after my encounters with a former stage management team member, i still had to spend a lot of time with her. he must've worried every rehearsal about what would happen during breaks, what things i might potentially be keeping from him. while i'm not terribly worried about it - i trust him implicitly - it does still worry me that he's so far from me and so near to others and having such a wonderful time when most of the time we spend together is through a crackly and upsetting phone connection or exasperating internet messaging. it's painful to keep in touch sometimes. other times it's just impossible. and he has such easy access up there... ::sigh::
the important thing is mostly not that i'm worried, really, but that i'm jealous. it's completely unfair to him to suggest that i'm worried. but, .. i dunno.. it's hard to put my feelings into words, especially since i'm not perfectly clear on them myself.


when i was in high school, i'd go to see matt in the morning with a friend of mine. we'd refer to him as "the wizard." how ironic now that, while listening to the wicked soundtrack, the lyrics to "the wizard and i" echo so prominently. what a pair we'll be.. the wizard and i!.

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