"the end of all you'll know"

i really like entitling my entries with cryptic phrases stolen from songs to which i'm listening.. oh, i'm so .. scandalous!

so, on a separate note, i'm currently putting off work on my end-of-the-semester baloney: writing portfolio due in only hours, criminology take-home final due before 2pm tomorrow, studying for english 200 final (3pm) and the chaucer class final (6pm). why does everything end on the same day!? *stressssssed*

i'm not doing too badly, though. working pretty well on editing my work for the portfolio, halfway through tagging my chaucer text (which we can use on the final) with little plot summaries for each tale. i barely read through my english 200 notes and haven't even thought about the criminology test yet, unfortunately. blech. i don't want this semester to keep going, but i surely don't want it to end with all this work! oh, how i wish finals were optional.. i wouldn't do half of them, since i have a's in all these classes.. but i'm pretty sure i won't after their exams.

so, yeah.. i thought i'd share my procrastination with my absent readers and make myself feel smart over some hot chocolate (which i haven't yet made) and some groovin' tunes (ghost in the shell: stand alone complex soundtrack).
today a friend of mine was deferred from her top-choice college. she's pretty upset, as i was when i was deferred from my top-choice. you know, though.. i am so glad i didn't end up going to UD (university of delaware, that is). i am so happy at psu. it isn't just the (moderately) great teachers and the (relative) isolation (which i'm not so sure i enjoy) as it is the atmosphere up here.. the physical environment is a beautiful mesh of mountain and forest (though the local populace leaves something to be desired.. like intelligence, tolerance, and an escape from crippling imbecility). the educational environment is just as nice as the landscape: good teachers coupled with what has worked out to be decent class hours. it's nice to be on a small campus -- would i have been pushed right to the stage management position on "medea" had i been at university park? i think not. the small size of this campus has made it possible for me to really shine above my peers - but now it's time for a real challenge.

with my history of all these teachers catering to students who weren't good enough for university park, what will i find in "the big leagues" up at state? i know i'm in for a rough time finding classroom buildings (geography is not my strong suit..) and some difficulty with my classwork (two 400-level english classes, one 200-level english, a new language - italian, a dreaded science class, and a three-hour class every week on martin luther king, jr), but what else will i find difficult. will being surrounded by my best friends and their antics distract me more from my work than just missing them in 'toon-town? will i find myself lured into fraternity parties (dens of dissolution, as i like to call them) to disturb my clean arrest record and sobriety? will i get lost.. not just physically, but mentally among my peers? will i lose that ability to shine when i am among people who are on the same level as me.. or will i be able to rise above as i have not in the past?

as i reach the end of this semester, i find myself mostly looking forward to what seems to be a bright future, but i also find a few nagging worries and a few little doubts.
for now, though, i'm going to concentrate on punishing these finals and having a blast over holiday break with all our parties and plans.

so, to those of you still taking finals: good luck!
and, to those of you done and at home sitting around collecting cheeto dust: you'd better be at my parties, or i'll definitely be visiting little action figures of doom onto your properties.