brief update

i've been very lazy about updating lately -- please accept my apologies.

plans have changed a lot since the last posting, some for fun, some for suck.
allow me to explain: instead of visiting doug and jaclyn, matt went to see his dad (a much needed and helpful to the healing process visit) in california while i stayed home and cleaned the bejeesus out of my room. it's still in progress, but coming along nicely. one of the major accomplishments for my room is convincing gramma that she won't miss them if i sell her enormous masses of barbies (that live in my room, of course). i posted them on craigslist and hope to get a reasonably good price for all of them. (buy them. pleeeasse!)

speaking of gramma: she's back in the hospital. she's.. not doing that great, i think. her body is starting to shut down from the relative inefficiency of dialysis (vs. actual kidney function). the remainder of her organs are starting to deteriorate. ::sigh:: i never want her to go, you know.. but i hate for her to be in pain. i feel about gramma similar to the way i felt about dad: that maybe it's better for her just to go quietly before the pain progresses anymore. obviously gramma's situation is slightly different, but.. the similarities are striking. i really don't want to have to deal with another death before this year is over. it's completely selfish of me, i know, but it's been such a hard year with gramma stephanie (dad's mother) dying in january and then dad going and so much stress about matt's dad being sick.

on a brighter note, matt and i spent a wonderful weekend in atlantic city. we gambled a bit (spent $5 and won $10) as well as hit the beach (sea isle city). i'm sure a picture post will come soon. ^_^ we had a great time hanging out with aunt tressa and her fiance, p.j., as well as my cool cousins gianna and connor. these cousins are the younger siblings of my cousin micheal who just recently left for coast guard basic training (see previous post for slightly more details). one of the big highlights of this trip, though, was p.j.'s mother who lives with aunt tressa. this lovely woman, judy, is a shopaholic. thing is, she never uses her purchases so, instead of just letting them sit there helping noone, judy gives away her purchases as loving gifts. i, of course, made out like a bandit when i showed an interest in knitting and handbags. i came away not only with some lovely hand lotions, but also with a very nice vera bradley bag filled to the brim with about a million of all the knitting needles i'll need for the rest of my life. DPN's from size 0 - 10 along with adjustable size circular needles as well as a whole set of straight needles should keep me well stocked for a very very long time. i am so impressed with her generosity and the value of the things she gave me. gifts she's made to someone she has known for only a few days ... easy equal around $200.

so, an overall success, the trip to atlantic city was marked by a little tension, but a lot of fun (and great tans). we definitely hope to do it again in the near future. this weekend, though, holds all the fun and excitement of going to my grampa's wedding (what wedding gift do you give to two old people? all suggestions are incredibly welcome) and just generalized hanging out. also perhaps some very vanilla tiramisu kahlua cupcakes..? we'll see.
i miss everyone very much. ::hugs everyone:: please call! or write! facebook?

"ready, steady, go"

in the roughly two weeks since i last updated, a lot has been going on.
not only have matt and i passed the official three year mark, but we also celebrated my 20th birthday. yay!
we spent our anniversary with a quiet evening at home dining upon roughly the same meal we've shared for the past two anniversaries: homemade pasta sauce served over spaghetti and accompanied by a delicious salad and yummy bread. we had some awesome coffee over ice cream (a la "white") and exchanged gifts. he, very sweetly, gave me a beautiful pair of earrings (dangly and shiny and picture forthcoming if i'm properly reminded) and a copy of song of songs, everyone's favorite epic, biblical love poem. he's so sweet. i gave him a copy of "the fountain" which we later watched and loved as much as the first (and second) time(s).
the day after, we went over to the pauls' house for some wonderful partying complete with great food and even better times with friends (even making some new ones in the process). it was great to be able to see doug and jaclyn again and i can't wait until we go down to visit them this weekend. *squeal*
oh, man.. i had a great birthday. matt was very sweet and gave me a copy of "zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance" which i very much look forward to reading. anita, of course, came through with an amazing gift: a chicken! just what a wanted!! it's not the living, breathing, torture-worthy creature i was hoping for, but i think ceramic will do just fine. it will also be a great addition to our apartment kitchen.. maybe holding teabags? she also gave me a really pretty pillow with a matching throw -- excellent additions to the couch, i suppose. the presents were rounded off with a hand-me-down (pretty pink 4gb) ipod courtesy of my mother and fabulous headphones thanks to curtis. yay for sweatproof!
we had a great dinner at cheeburger cheeburger and spent the rest of the evening catching up on "house" and conversation. i'm glad my friends are so laid-back. it's nice to be able to just chill at someone's house and pet kitties while watching the tube.

right now, though, i'm at work. i'm only here for another 2 hours or so and i've only dealt with ..maybe 10 customers? it's pretty slow here, but that means that i get to make friends with blogger, digg, and many webcomics that i lurve.

in upcoming events:
-- dinner tonight with aunt penni?
-- visit doug and jaclyn this weekend(!)
-- grampa's wedding june 30th (!!)
-- and some other stuff in between.

this summer, though it's had its very rough moments (like matt's dad's hospital stay about which we're still praying), is getting off to a pretty good start. hope everyone else is enjoying.

i am not 5'3"

i finally got a real id card. not a driver's license, mind you, just an id, but now i can actually positively identify myself without looking like a creeper or a schmuck. ^_^ the card, lying little thing that it is, says that i am five three.. now, we all know that i am not that tall. or that matt is that short: it says he is five three, as well. *grin* i guess they just don't care that much. ::shrug::
also, i got back my grades from last semester (well, a little while ago, now). a's in all my english courses (yessss!) and a b in italian. i'm pretty disappointed about that b, but i know i'll be able to bring it up in the fall. it was a really hard semester and i'm still pretty displeased with the professor. in any case, though, i am pretty excited about upcoming semester. tons of fun/difficult english courses (three: one is peer editing, one is 20th c. american poetry, and the other is american modernist writing). these will all be pretty tough courses, i think, but i'm really looking forward to them. you can look at my schedule here.

once again, i'm making this update while at work. it's pretty dull since i haven't done enough training to actually handle money. seeing as this is a bank and money is all you can really do here.. well, there's nothing except dull regulations and uninteresting documentation for me to work with. blugh.

so, because i need to get more dull reading done, i'll leave off here. hope everyone had a great memorial day weekend!

p.s. our three year anniversary is this friday. congratulate us!
p.p.s. my birthday is next monday. bring me presents!

"we're building you a better bank!"

so, here i am.. sitting at work. a real office type job, the likes of which i won't see again for some time, i'm sure. instead of boring toil at wawa (or lion line, for that matter), sore feet and coffee smells included, i sit comfortably in front of an internet-accessing computer with only minimal restrictions placed on my web surfing (provided it doesn't interfere with my work). right now, i can't really do anything. i haven't even started training because i haven't finished up all my compliance testing (i'm putting the remainder of those off as i type this very entry), but the work seems as though it will be easy and pleasant with few customers and even fewer coffee smells. *gringrin*
i was officially offered the job over the phone by one of the human resources ladies.. while standing in boston. in the coop at harvard square. it was a good day. *grin* and from there i finished up touring boston with matt and had a lovely time spending the remainder of that weekend with him and partly with his family. it was nice to have the agency to visit him with really minimal parental involvement -- i felt like a real person.
while i'm not going to bother to post a full analysis (as if you'd want to read that) on my boston excursion, i will encourage you to check out my c(r)avedrawing based on the flight and also encourage you to bug me for any details in which you're interested.
for now, i'm happily employed (this branch closes on july 14th.. got any jobs for me for after that?) and happily enjoying matt's temporary unemployment (he gets to spend the time during my workday doing the things that he wants to do.. meaning that i get to spend non-WoW time with him after i get off). we've been throwing together graduation gifts and birthday gifts and certain house-warming gifts (!!) and immensely enjoying Lost (which christine and zach are demanding we watch) and just, in general, settling in for what appears to be shaping up into a very pleasant summer.

my normal approach..

after staying up last night (this morning) until around 4am (only 3.15 or so on purpose.. curse you, computer induced insomnia!), i'm pretty tired, but looking forward to a rousing day of working ridiculously hard on two papers and turning in at least one of them.
ideally, i would like to be able to hand in my english 456 paper to kelly at the final today at 2.30.
also ideally, i would like to be able to finish my english 497C paper by tonight so that i don't have to rush to finish it tomorrow morning before the deadline of 12pm. wish me luck!

my room smells wonderfully of tulips, but i can't wait to get home. seeing friends and relaxing without having to go to bloody classes.. ah! and i'll get to see gramma and all that family that i love so much. yay! family = heart!

and just as a general update: gramma has been in a nursing home for a few days now. it's actually working out well. she's being taken care of as if she were a person, not a dishrag, and she doesn't hate it. mom visits her frequently and a physical therapist is helping to get her legs into better shape.
also: my cousin brian ships out for marine corps training may 14th (holy crap that's soon!). good luck and God bless to him!
also also: my cousin michael ships out for coast guard training on may 29th (also soon!). similar well wishings to him.
and now: back to my own version of a paperchase. hopefully i don't get blisters!

"lift you up over everything..."

"...to light up my room."

i just got off the phone with my aunt gina. she and my dad were pretty close -- he lived at the house that she shares with my uncle and her three boys. she told me about a dream she had: my dad, wreathed in flaming sparkles and smiling (she likened it to a cartoon character "powering up" ...like popeye with spinach. but with sparkles). accompanying this vision, she had an "indescribable" feeling. the sum of the vision/dream: dad's doing ok. and we all should too.

now, i'm a little skeptical about visions and whatnot and i'm one of those pessimistic people that usually thinks "oh, you had a vision ...got it." but.. i honestly believe that my dad reached out to my aunt to relieve her cares, to let her know that we don't have to be sad anymore.

on a similarly bright note: matt's parents sent me a beautiful vase of flowers. they're beautiful and i'm so appreciative. his parents are so supportive.


on an academic note: i did my english 221 final (maybe a B.. it was tougher than expected). i did the last italian exam for the semester (probably about a B for that one.. probably about a B for the whole class). i still have an english 456 exam tomorrow (should be.. hard, but manageable) and a paper due for english 497C and one for english 456 (they're both ten pages or so and should be easy enough). so, i should be ok.. stressed but, ok.

enough of this.. i'm going to qdoba!! yum, burrito!

"if i could..."

"...sleep forever"

today is the (aftermath of) cinco de mayo and it is obscenely early in the morning - i have not yet been to bed.
and, while i am quite inebriated, i am sober enough to say ...


i still miss you daddy.

it's only been a week, but i feel like you're a million years away.
nonetheless, i still miss you and love you every day. and i know you're doing the same.